The Hairnet Spotters have been
uber-busy this week. I have received Net photos from all over the
Greater Coastal Area. And with those photos we have come closer to
understanding the lifespan and life style of the Common Mid-American
Hairnet. (Don't be afraid. If you are new to the CoastofIllinois - check here for some background.)
Here we have an extremely rare photo of
Hairnet DNA.
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| The Building Block of Life |
Notice the typical double helix design.
But, if you look closely you will notice the beginning formation of
the capsule or 'net'. This is the portion of the DNA strand that
begins to break apart, forming the waffle weave normally associated
with our Hairnets. This allows for maximum stretch to cover a wide
variety of heads and hair-dos.
Here we have a mature Net. Take note of
the residual DNA column extending from the bulky center.
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| In Sight...It must be Right... |
Most Nets are responsible and generally
follow in the food service industry tradition of their fore-bearers.
This particular Net was employed at a well known Fresh Food Restaurant known for its BeanCrock.
Our next Net is at the end of its life cycle. Sadly, it has not fared as well as its free floating
brethren tumbling along sidewalks and parking garages to the whim the
breeze. No, this poor Net has taken refuge in the corner of a
convenient elevator, hiding amongst bits of paper and plastic; a sad
attempt at maintaining coverage of something...anything...
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| A Hairnet is such a Terrible thing to Waste |
I have included this final picture as a
cautionary footnote lest Readers, you have forgotten how truly
dangerous the Hairnet can be.
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| License to Lunch...Lady.... |
Observe the heavy polyurethane containment device holding the Nets in a neat stack. This
establishment is taking no chances with its Hairnet protocol. To the
left you will see an emergency telephone. To the right please note
the professional Hairnet Dispensing License as well as a Hairnet
Safety Checklist Clipboard. And lastly, below the Containment Device
an emergency release valve. Should the Nets dispense too quickly, the
Hairnet Safety Office is charged with the task twisting the release
valve thus filling the room with an ozone decimating layer of
AquaNet.
Thanks to all my Hairnet Spotters. With
your diligence and quick phone-camera snapping the Coast of Illinois,
nay, the World is a safer place!
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